Inquiries into the so-called "Loans for Lordships" scandal dramatically widened today when two further Lords were interviewed by the Metropolitan Police.
One of them , Labour peer Lord Voldemort of Little Hangleton, has aroused suspicion because the precise circumstances of his elevation from plain Thomas Riddle to Lord Voldemort are somewhat obscure even to most political journalists.
In a rare public statement, Voldemort said "There's nothing wrong with me giving financial help to Labour, they are the party most in line with my own beliefs. They want an aspirational country, and I'm pretty aspirational myself. Restricting civil liberties, new powers to arrest people, taking control of people's identities, all seems fine stuff to me. Mind you, some of Blair's men do frighten me a little - I wouldn't like to have that Clarke opposing me, but I don't suppose we are likely to disagree on very much.
I'm not saying there aren't interesting figures in other parties. That Menzies Campbell - with a name like that, I'm sure he's a pure-blood. And his comment at PMQs about the vacancies for school headships, well he's pretty spot on there..."
Another peer, disgraced and reclusive landowner Lord Sauron , would only say a few words, indicating that, whoever he had supported in the past, he was now disillusioned about Labour. "When I think about how much I trusted that man... 'You must invade Gondor' he said, 'They have weapons of mass destruction... '. I swear, I'd go over to the BNP, only they are prejudiced against my orcs..."